The What Cast
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MIKE
 Was allegedly orphaned at birth and raised by a pack of platypuses. Upon reaching the age of 6 he was forced out due to lack of venomous spurs. From that point on he somehow ended up wandering the Sahara Desert for what he claims was 40 years, before stumbling upon a computer somewhere in NY where he decided to join some dude named Mateo on The What Cast. In reality he's probably perfectly normal, and a tad on the boring side.
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MATEO
Was classically trained at Juilliard as a young lad. Afterward, he decided the life of a dancer was not for him. He ended up graduating from Harvard with a Doctorate in Quantum Physics at the tender age of 16.  When he was 18 he discovered a new Start System housing an Earthlike planet he came to refer to as Eloise.  At 19, Mateo went on a bender, promptly forgot about Eloise, and most of what he learned in the fields of Quantum Physics. Lost, and confused, he battled hordes of goblins, and then slept for a while. Then he woke up...

Ya know....

It's 2023. Jerry Springer has come and gone. They play clips of people getting their heads cut off on the news and MTV still exists, but hey, for old time sake: The views of guest are their own and not necessarily the same as ours. If you hear something that pisses you off, take a deep breath, relax and remind yourself that you live in a place and time where "twerking" was invented. Miley Cyrus is famous and you are mad at two dudes on the internet? You are going to be ok. We love you and do not want to offend anyone. Well, Miley Cyrus can eat a bag of dicks. You? You are our special little boy. Our beautiful Princess. We would never hurt you intentionally. So, yeah. Email them. Not us. xoxoxox
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